Belly Breathing to De-Stress


Breathe. It’s one of the first things people say to us when we’re under stress; sounds too simple to make any sustainable impact, right? I know what you’re thinking. “E, I can barely pee in peace, between managing meltdowns, folks ableism, and supporting my kiddo - and now you want me to think about how I breathe?!” 

Don’t worry, Mama. I’m not going to suggest you sit on a yoga mat for 20  minutes,  but I am sharing a practice you can do anywhere and anytime to help soothe your nervous system - belly breathing.


What is Belly Breathing? What are the Benefits? 

Belly breathing helps you “focus on expanding your abdomen as you inhale, rather than just your chest. This technique utilizes the diaphragm, a muscle below the lungs, to draw air into the lungs, resulting in deeper, slower breaths,” according to Good RX. 

Breathing in this way comes naturally to us as babies.  As we grow older, and the stresses of life begin to stack, we sink into autopilot, and before long, we’re in a rhythm of chest breathing which often looks like shallow and rapid breaths which can exacerbate stress and overwhelm, instead of calling us into calm. 

When I was preparing to write this blog post, I came across an article from Headspace that speaks to the power of belly breathing and the ways continued chest breathing impacts our health - 

“When we breathe with our chests, we use the muscles in our shoulders, necks, and chests to expand our lungs, which can result in neck pain, headaches, and an increased risk of injury. Our shoulders slump forward and our posture changes as well. 

Diaphragmatic [belly] breathing, on the other hand, can lower blood pressure, reduce heart rate, relax muscles, decrease stress, and increase energy levels. Deep breathing grounds us as well.

It can help intense sensations, experiences, and emotions feel less threatening. Deep breathing brings awareness which can help us to breathe mindfully, noticing that life is a thread of moments, woven together that come and go,” said Juli Fraga, a clinical psychologist with training in mindfulness-based stress reduction and mindful breathing.”

There are many nights where my system is charged from the hyper vigilance of high support needs disability parenting. The body remembers; we must give it a pathway to ease.

This practice is supportive for settling into rest, or soothing nerves in the midst of stress and tension. And we could all use that support right?


Soooo…how do you start Belly Breathing?

  • Choose a quiet space - this could be your car, the bathroom, etc. Anywhere you will have peace for a few moments.

  • You can either lay down (my personal favorite as it feels most relaxing) or sit upright, feet firmly on the floor or ground (if you are outside)

  • Place one hand on your heart space and the other hand on your stomach.

  • Close your eyes or lower your gaze.

  • Breathe in slowly & deeply through your nose, feeling your belly rise on your inhale.

  • Exhale slowly & deeply through your mouth, feeling your belly drop as you exhale.

  • >> Repeat these steps as often as you like to call in calm.


Drop into the practice with me right now by tapping the video. Inhale Calm. Exhale Stress.


Need More Support? >> Emelda “E” De Coteau is a certified mindfulness coach, trained in TSD Mindfulness and Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and the founder of When Motherhood Looks Different, LLC,  a community-based small business helping Mamas of neurodivergent kids and Moms who are neurodivergent center mindfulness and connect in community by offering events, resources, and mindfulness coaching; this work is inspired by her beautiful neurodivergent daughter Nai.

Her writing, which focuses on social justice, anti-racism, neurodivergent parenting, well-being, and spiritual activism (within the progressive Christian tradition), has appeared in Good Faith Media, Spoken Black Girl Magazine, Good Life Detroit, Beautifully Said Magazine, The Baltimore Times, and on the Pray with our Feet website (a podcast & community she co-leads with her Mom, Trudy) where she blogs and shares devotionals on spiritual life and activism.

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