Five Tips For Neurodivergent Mamas this Holiday Season

Real talk, Mamas!? Holidays are often overwhelming for kids and families like ours - all the bright lights, loud music, unfamiliar textures, and schedule changes have us counting down the days until it’s all over. But there are ways to navigate it and support regulation (for our kids and us!). I am sharing a few have learned and lean into continually:

1. Prioritize Predictability & Preparation: We create a sense of control and calm by preparing Nai for what’s coming, and you can, too. Try social scripts & visual schedules: Before the next event (school play, visit to Santa, etc.), create a simple social story and visual schedule. We use Nai’s AAC device (you can also ask your child’s teacher / speech therapist to help create a social story (paper & digital version for accessibility). We love the app Choiceworks for creating a visual schedule (phone and tablet).

For Ex. - "First, we will drive to Grandma's. Then, we will hug her. Next, we will eat. After that, we will open one gift. Then, we will go home."

Traveling / Visiting a New Place: If you all are visiting a new place or traveling to visit family, talk (or use their AAC device) to discuss who they will see, what kinds of sounds they might hear, etc. Again, creating a social story (either on their AAC device, of your child uses this) or on another electronic device helps them and you mentally prepare, and lowers the brain’s "alert" response.

3. Mindful Time-Blocking: Avoid marathon holiday events, Mamas. We do not have to give into the pressure of doing it all, all at once. Take sensory breaks whenever they are needed (remember to have your sensory support tool kit with you always - a backpack is a great way to stay organized).

Instead of staying at family / friends house until the gathering / dinner ends, instead you could say: "We will stay for as long we are able.” This honors your family’s capacity, and moves away from the tendency we have as caregivers to people please.

4. Sensory "Regulation Station" at Home: Dedicate a corner in your kid’s room for a sensory regulation station at home and add in all their sensory support tools, for example -

   * A weighted blanket or lap pad

   * Noise-canceling headphones

   * Fidget toys, tactile balls, or chewing gum/chewelry

   * Their fav. books, and tools for painting / drawing (if that

On-the-Go Sensory Support Kit: Carry a backpack with their favorite sensory regulation tools. This bag is their safe space in physical form.

5. Proactively Manage Sensory Input: We cannot shift how the world celebrates holidays, but we can dial down the intensity of sensory input for our kids.

Loud Sounds: Loud Christmas music, excited crowds
Sensory Support: Invest in good noise-reducing or canceling headphones for all events. At home, play calming instrumental music (like lo-fi or classical) instead of loud carols. |

Too Much Visual Input: Flashing lights, shiny décor, crowded stores.
Sensory Support: When looking at lights, encourage your child to wear sunglasses or look through the car window. Choose one focal point instead of scanning the whole room (a mindfulness technique).
When you all get home, go upstairs to their room, turn down the lights, and get under a weighted blanket to recharge / recover.

Tactile: Scratchy holiday clothes, hugging unfamiliar relatives.
Tactile Support: Always prioritize comfort —choose soft, tag-free clothing. If clothes are an issue, have some of their favorites on rotation. Tell relatives / friends ahead of time that your kid will greet in whatever way feels comfortable - hugs, shaking hands, using their AAC device, etc. I like to explain that some forms of touch such as a heavy hug and unexpected hug is too much for Nai at times.

6. Remember Your Own Regulation: As Moms raising neurodivergent kids, regulating our nervous system matters, too! The holidays aren’t the time to push for "perfect" behavior. Celebrate small wins: Your kid stayed for 30 minutes. They tried one new food. They used their headphones. Woo hoo!

We have to start redefining “success” as connection and regulation, not compliance. Our intention, Mama, is peace, not perfection. We’ve got this!

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Need Extra Support? Check out our Caregiving Mama Meditation; it is my love letter to Moms like us on this neurodivergent parenting journey.